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Thoughts on Psalm 130

He didn't mean to do it. He was important after all. Why shouldn't' he take some time out. A bit of rest, a bit of quiet. After all they didn't need him. Nowadays all they let him do was enjoy the successes.
A quiet time, sunset, the best time of the day. Glorying in the sunset the Lord had made. He didn't know why he looked down but there she was. Naked, the red light playing on her skin. The lust rose, a burning in his belly, the sour taste in the back of his throat.

Out of the depths I have cried to you, O Lord. Lord, hear my voice.

There was an inevitability to it. Once started events flowed. She was gone now and he sat wondering at the depth he had sunk to. Horrified at the betrayal of his friend, the betrayal of God, the betrayal of himself. Yet even now he wanted more.
A few weeks later he got the message. They were hard weeks, fluctuating between guilt and desire. Weeks of praying to a heaven as hard as brass. Weeks of cursing himself. And now the message, she was pregnant; her husband had been gone for months working for him.

Out of the depths I have cried to you, O Lord. Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.

He acted immediately, called his friend the husband home, as a pretext asking about the work, and then sent him to his wife. But the man refused, wanting instead to return to his work. Desperation and deeper depth. The words spoken and not recalled. The death of his friend to cover up his sin. Doubly guilty.
He told himself it was about doing one right thing in this mess. A widow and orphan or a wife and child. The wedding followed the funeral.

If you Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord who could stand?

It was over now, no one would ever know. Life could go on. A new wife that he loved dearly and a newborn son. (pause)
This man standing before him. Talking in riddles, asking him about right and wrong.
Complacency shattered. Everyone knew, he had been the example of righteousness, now just another example of sin.

If you Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord who could stand? But there is forgiveness with you, that you may be feared.

The child was dying. It was certain, a life created in sin, snuffed out as a consequence. He sought forgiveness, he prayed, fasted. That eternal night caught between despair and hope that the Lord would yet forgive and spare the child.

I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope.

My soul waits for the Lord

More than the watchmen for the morning;

Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning.

Seven days, watching, praying, seeking God. Watching the reactions of others as his desperation grew. He threw himself into humbling himself before his Lord. If only he could move the heart of God. If only.
He knew immediately. The mix of fear, sorrow and concern as they entered the room. "He's dead isn't he?" the answer a barely audible "yes".

They expected him to react. To do something to himself or them. Instead he felt calm, burnt out.
He washed, changed. He went and worshipped.

Out of the depths I have cried to you, O Lord. Lord, hear my voice. Le your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.

If you Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord who could stand? But there is forgiveness with you, that you may be feared.

I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope.

My soul waits for the Lord

More than the watchmen for the morning;

Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the Lord; For with the Lord there is loving kindness

And with him there is abundant redemption

And He will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.

The two absolutes: Sin and the Love of God.

Missing the mark

The large part of the journey of the people of God - Adam and Eve to now has been about seeking a solution to Sin.

This psalm offers one answer. The answer is God himself. In the depths, the midst of his sin, the psalmist cries out to God.

The grace of God, the love of God is the hope of the psalmist.

But the deliverance is not immediate but waited for. Many things may happen before redemption.

There is no doubt in the psalmists mind: God will deliver.

We live our lives in the midst of sin. There are things in my life that have dogged me for years. Things that I can't overcome. Areas of sin in my life that I alternate between accepting and petitioning God to remove.

I have no answer to them. They flow out of me and my desires. I am shown as who I am a sinner who can't do anything without sin.

The psalmist offers the only answer: God the deliverer

The message of the psalmist:

hope in the Lord; For with the Lord there is loving kindness

And with him there is abundant redemption

And He will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.